i have been feeling really off this week, a migraine from monday to friday will do that to you. the puppy and i have spent a lot of time hanging out in the bedroom. the floors have a light covering of sand because oscar has spent 3 afternoons at the beach, and no-one has swept up. i managed some crochet last night, a hanging plant holder, it is not finished yet, i cant wait to finish it and hang a new ivy.
my body cycle is changing and it is running amok with me. i am ready to move on now, i thought i had, this month seems to say differently.
the changes of life are sometimes happing before we know it. i am craving simplicity, naturalness and to sweep away the dust and the clutter. the Lords robes smelt of cassia (cinnamon), aloes and myrrh, i long to fill the house with these smells, maybe mingled in with the smell of wood and wood-smoke, and baking bread.
i want to sit on cream sofa's and cushions and be surrounded by calm. next week i may want the house to be purple.
i have been thinking of creating a vision book, maybe that will satisfy my need for order? i have never been very good at completing things, my attention span is too short, maybe it will end up like so many other of my books and journals, 90% empty.
i know there are blue skies above me, thorny brambles are blocking my view. i will clear the way somehow. i have an amazing helper.
i live for the weekends right now, even though i know it is wrong. i long to live each moment to the fullest. this week i have craved sleep more than anything else, i am so so far from my mark.
today is friday, and i can relax when the 7.15 train brings my beloved home. you can be asleep but not really relaxed.
plans are as always, lunches and dinners, laundry and cleaning, church and prayers, not always in that order. maybe curry or pizza or olives and cheese or chocolate pretzels too. maybe i can tear some things down and rip some things out?
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