Stop Start

I haven't been very well lately, neither physically or emotionally. I have not made a secret of it, but at the same time I have not been overly specific either. My reasons for this are fairly obvious in that I dont know how helpful it would be to blurb things out to the world at large, or how interesting it would be to others. I also don't want to upset or hurt my family in any way.

Lately I feel that things are being stalled at every turn, for example, I talked myself into starting a new art class. I was worried about going because my confidence is very low, but I also know how engrossing and therapeutic art is for me. I sorted out childcare and forced myself along, clutching my empty sketchbook, only to be told there were no places (they said 'oops, sorry the website should have been updated'). So I had to leave again (embarrassing much ?). I also tried to talk to one of the GPs at my new Practice about things, only to be given some very generic and actually quite patronising advice. I have also had some hold ups with personal finances that just cant seem to get past red tape, which A. is driving me nuts, and B. I could do with the cash. I expect we all have periods of time like this, but on top of illness it can seem like the world itself is against you.

Looking on the bright side, I have found another  tutored art class (tutored by a Russian lady artist I believe), and so I will be clutching my empty sketch book again and forcing myself along. Oscar is doing incredibly well at nursery, and after a pretty fractious few weeks on the coat tails of him being ill, he seems to be getting back to his giggly self (he is doing a sponsored Wellie Walk with nursery which we think is SO cute). And Duncan and I always seem to pull through problems tighter and tighter each time. I would say I am so lucky to have him, but that is rather self effacing, so I will say, we are lucky to have each other.

And for therapy? This is a secret so don't tell. I have been working on a painting of my Dad to give to my Mum for Mothers Day (talk about opening yourself up for criticism).

Based loosely on this photo (because, you know, its a painting impression not another photo), taken of him 3 months before he passed away.

It is making us all smile whenever we pass the painting, I hope it will do the same for my Mum.

Valerie
xxx